Saturday, June 15, 2013

A Little Silliness


"Mix a little foolishness with your
serious plans. It is lovely to be
silly at the right moment."
~ Horace

Warning:  I wish I could add flashing lights and one of those "AWOOGA" horns to the top of this post.  I can't, of course, so I'll just advise you not to read this if you are an art lover who is easily offended by my sense of humor and sarcastic tendencies.  

One of the things Mike really wanted to do in Paris (and everywhere else we went) was go to art museums.  He's much more interested in them than I am for some reason.  Actually, I think I know why I'm not as interested, but that's beside the point.  He likes to go, so I go with him.

"Do you want to try the Louvre again today?" he asked me on the Friday morning two days before we were leaving Paris.

"I thought that was the plan," I sighed as I probably rolled my eyes. We didn't want to attempt going on a Saturday, so this was going to be the last day.  

"I just wanted to make sure."  He always wants to make sure even though we may have tickets for an event or plans to meet friends at a certain time. 

"We have tickets.  Of course we'll go."  Huge sigh.

(Let me take a minute to remind you of the fun we'd had in Paris that week:  It was cold.  It rained a lot. On Monday, we went to the Pompidou.  It rained. On Tuesday we walked to the Louvre to find it closed. It rained on our way home.  We went to the Louvre on Wednesday to find it closed due to a staff strike.  It rained on our way home. I went on a one-day strike against the Louvre on Thursday. It rained.  On Friday morning, we woke up and went to get coffee.  It was raining. I started to feel like a sponge with bad hair.)

At any rate, late that morning, we made it to the Louvre and got in without waiting in line.  The fun started. As you may recall, we do entertain ourselves by posing with statues while we're in museums, galleries and malls. You also may remember that I tend to make up captions and such.  I mean no offense to the artist (or anyone who loves a particular painting), but one of the reasons we have art is to make us think, no?  I think. It just might be in a different way.

You know what I'm getting at, don't you?  I started making captions for some of the paintings.

This was one of the first paintings we saw after we left the sculptures that afternoon.  I forget who painted it and when, although it was probably after the 13-14th centuries because the colors are a bit brighter than those used in earlier paintings.  At any rate, when I turned the corner and saw it, I started laughing immediately.

"BOO!" I shout-whispered.  Mike turned around and started laughing, too.  "SURPRISE!! I'M ALIVE!!"

Do you know, by the way, why so much of the early art was religious in nature?  There are several reasons, not the least of which was because the church had money and commissioned art to adorn churches.  In addition, they royals commissioned religious artwork because they believed God would be pleased and bless their reigns.  In addition, most people were illiterate then, and the eastiest way to teach them about God was to do so through paintings.

During the Renaissance, the wealthy started commissioning paintings of themselves (above and the next two below).

"What do you think he's saying?" Mike asked me when we saw the painting above.

"I'm a regular guy," I laughed.  "I started out mopping floors, waiting tables and tending bar. . . I'm not concerned about the poor."

 "Take a photo of this painting," Mike told me.  "I'll use it on my Facebook page."

"What are you going to say about it?" I wondered.

"Have you seen my pants?  I seem to have lost them after I left the bar."  We were rolling.

"What do you want to call our boy band?" 

"We must go to the same hairdresser!"  "Hairdresser? We must go to the same tailor!"

Sometime around the early-to-mid 18th century, artists started painting natural life more and more over the objections of the Church.  They painted landscapes, animals, and even started painting peasants.  

"Don't talk to me about coconut milk. If it doesn't come from a cow, it's not milk."

"The cow is of the bovine ilk.
One end is moo, the other milk."  (Ogden Nash)

" the mugger, he comes to and he starts choking me. So I'm fighting him off with one hand and I kept driving the bus with the other, ya know. Then I managed to open up the door and I kicked him out the door, ya know, with my foot, ya know...." (From Seinfeld)

Yes, I know.  I'm a little crazy.  It's how I roll.  ;-)

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